Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Great Debate

In addition to breastfeeding vs formula, another thing parents to tend to feel strongly about is letting your child cry it out.  Some people swear by it - Dr. Ferber.  Some people swear against it - Dr. Sears.

In case you aren't familiar and don't care to read their whole books, here is a quick summary of each.


Sears and Other Similar Methods

This momma is currently in this predicament right now.  I did my hw (or so I thought) and read the raved about Babywise before Hudson was born.  For those that don't know me, I am a rule follower/by the book kind of gal.  I thought that the book was full of good advice, but honestly, it was a bit overwhelming.  If I couldn't get him to follow the schedules in the book, it would stress me out! Don't ask me why, but I often "sweat the small stuff" as Max Lucado would say.  I was doing this because I didn't want to have "that child" that would never sleep.  I was trying to do what was best to make my baby a happy, healthy baby.  

I personally do not believe in co-sleeping. If you do it and it works for you, that is great.  Doesn't bother me one bit.  However, I don't believe that is what's best for me and my family for multiple reasons: #1 It scares me.  What if I rolled over on my baby? What if he smothered in our fluffy mattress, pillows, and bedding? #2 I would be so paranoid about #1, I would never get any rest.  Alright, let's say they are big enough that #1 is no longer an issue.....#3 When do you kick them out of the bed? Isn't that going to be a hard, painful process for everyone?  #4 How do you and your husband have a normal relationship with a baby/child in the bed?  I feel like it is so important to have time alone to keep the relationship between husband and wife tightly knit.  

Here is what is currently going on: We have a great bedtime routine.  About 7:30 Hudson gets a bath.  We laugh, talk, and play (if he is not fussy).  After he is dressed for bed, he eats for the last time, about 8:00.  He is read a book, then rocked to sleep pretty quickly.  We put him down and he usually sleeps until around midnight/1am. 

About once an hour - sometimes less, sometimes more - he wakes up.  I've tried letting him cry for a few minutes to see if he will go back to sleep, but when I'm sleepy and he seems to just be waking himself up more the more he cries, 5 minutes seems like forever.  So usually I go in, turn his white noise back on, put his paci back in, rub his face, and he is out.  Literally within seconds. 

Is this killing me? No.  Would it be nice to sleep a solid 8 hours for the first time in almost 4 months? Yes.  My biggest concern is I feel like he has become extremely dependent on someone to get him back to sleep.  How long do I let this go on? If I let it go on, will it eventually stop?  Or will this last and I will be cursed with "that child" that never sleeps.  I feel like he would benefit more, too, if he wasn't waking up so much.

I know he's not hungry.  As a parent, you learn your baby's cries.  Also, if he's hungry, the white noise/paci routine doesn't put him back to sleep. 

So, what advice do you have?  Have you been in a similar situation? 

Leave a comment with your experiences!


  1. I wish I could help, but this momma is a rookie!:) You are such a wonderful mommy, Hudson is a lucky little guy!!

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  3. I had "that child". Alex didn't sleep through the night for quite a while, but he finally did. I never let him cry it out, it just didn't feel right to me. I breastfeed as well, and I think that makes a difference in how long they sleep. Four months is still so little, I don't think you have to worry about him becoming dependent on you putting him back to sleep right now. I say snuggle him and cuddle him back to sleep!

    1. Hi Angela! I've decided that is what I am going to do. I think he is just too little right now and I just couldn't stand to see him upset! Thanks for the comment!

  4. Jake didn't start sleeping through the night till 10 weeks - which is exactly when he started daycare. He also learned to roll over on his side to sleep. There were no back sleeping ever at our house - the child hates it. To this day he get in a corner and puts his little heiny up in the air and snores as loud as our dogs. Hudson could be going through some growth spurts and also could get scared by the dark when he is awoken. Have you tried a nightlite in his room? We also contribute the fact that Jake sleeps well to a glow sea horse we have that "sings" Church songs. It does god of wonder, how great thou art, etc. You should check it ou. Also, be patient, like the other commented, 4 months is still early and he is still trying to learn his "routine." be patient, I'm sure your doing a great job!

    1. Thanks so much for the comment! I agree, after lots of reading and listening to my heart, I thought he was just too little to try anything "drastic" right now. He starts daycare in a few weeks and I think he will be more tired and start sleeping harder just like your son. Also similar to yours, if I ever give up and put him in the bed with me, he usually rolls on his side towards me and sleeps away! I guess they have their likes just like we do!

    2. Oh AND We also have the glow sea horse and when he was really little, it would always calm him down. Now, he sleeps with the cloud b giraffe that has the white noise sound as one of the four it makes. He uses it during every nap and at bedtime. If we are out and it's nap time, I downloaded a free white noise app on my iPhone! LOVE it!!